7/3/2025
8 min read
Serenity Team
How Can I Tell If Something Actually Matters to Me?

Discover how to identify what truly matters to you by exploring personal values, setting aligned goals, using guided reflections, and leveraging accountability tools like Serenity to stay on track.

Values
Goal Setting
Personal Development
Mindfulness
Self-Improvement
Productivity

How Can I Tell If Something Actually Matters to Me?

If you're wondering, "How can I tell if something actually matters to me?" the answer often lies in examining your personal values and aligning your goals with those values. Understanding what drives you internally—your values—makes every decision more intentional and every goal more meaningful. In this guide, you'll learn how to discover what matters to you, align it with goal setting, and use digital tools like the Serenity app to stay focused and accountable.


What are personal values and why are they important for setting goals?

Personal values are the internal compass that guides your behavior, priorities, and decisions. They are the fundamental beliefs you hold about what is right, meaningful, or important.

  • Values affect everything: choices, relationships, work satisfaction.
  • When your goals align with your values, motivation stays high—even when challenges arise.
  • According to Dr. Russ Harris (author of The Happiness Trap), “Values are like a compass — they give you direction and keep you on track."

🎯 In summary: Personal values are essential for setting sustainable, fulfilling goals. They ensure you're not chasing success defined by others, but by what truly matters to you.


How can I identify what truly matters to me in life?

To identify what matters most in your life, reflect on the following:

  • What are you willing to sacrifice time, energy, or comfort for?
  • When have you felt most proud or fulfilled?
  • What activities make time fly for you?

📝 Try journaling about major life decisions—what drove them, and how they felt. Serenity offers reflective prompts that help bring your core values to the surface.

🧭 In summary: You discover what matters by noticing where your motivation, fulfillment, and attention go naturally.


What are effective ways to discover my core values and priorities?

Here are some proven techniques:

  1. 📚 Reflective Exercise: List 10 peak life moments, and note the values present in each (e.g., courage, creativity).
  2. 🧠 Guided Visualizations: Imagine your retirement speech or obituary. What do you want remembered?
  3. 🔍 The “Why” Test: Ask “why?” repeatedly about your goals until you reach a value-driven reason.
  4. 📱 Use Apps: Serenity walks you through value discovery using clinically-backed guides.

💡 In summary: Combine introspective tools and modern guidance (like apps) to clarify key values and life priorities.


How do I align my personal values with my life goals?

If your goals contradict your core values, you’ll experience burnout or resistance. To align them:

  • Start goal-setting by identifying values first (e.g., value = “growth”; goal = “complete a course in AI”).
  • Evaluate current goals: Do they serve intrinsic motivations or external pressure?
  • Use Serenity to flag misaligned goals and reconstruct them around your chosen values.

🔄 In summary: Start with values, then build SMART goals that reflect and serve them.


What questions should I ask myself to clarify my priorities?

Ask yourself:

  • What would I fight for, even if no one else supported it?
  • Where do I feel like “myself” the most?
  • What do I want my legacy to be?

💭 Serenity’s daily check-ins often include these types of reflective prompts to create momentum around meaningful change.

🧩 In summary: Honest, value-driven questions reveal hidden motivations and clarify life priorities.


What’s the difference between priorities, goals, and values?

ConceptDefinitionExample
ValuesCore beliefs that guide your decisionsFreedom, Kindness, Achievement
PrioritiesAreas of life currently demanding attentionHealth, Career, Family relationships
GoalsSpecific outcomes you work towardRun 3x/week; Launch side project

Values inform your priorities, and your priorities shape your goals.

📌 In summary: Values are why, priorities are where, goals are what.


Are there guided exercises to help me discover what matters most?

Yes. Here are a few worth trying:

  1. "Regret Minimization Framework" by Jeff Bezos: Project yourself to age 80. What would you regret not pursuing?
  2. Ikigai Diagram (Japanese concept of purpose): What you love, what you're good at, what the world needs, what pays.
  3. Serenity App: Includes guided meditations, values clarification exercises, and reflection templates.

📘 In summary: Guided exercises streamline self-discovery and translate abstract feelings into actionable values.


How do I create meaningful goals based on what I care about?

Steps for creating value-driven goals:

  1. Identify your top 3-5 values.
  2. Brainstorm goals that express those values.
  3. Use Serenity’s “Goal Builder” to shape your target into a SMART (Specific-Measurable-Achievable-Relevant-Time-bound) plan.
  4. Break it into micro-habits and milestones.

🧗 In summary: Meaningful goals reflect your values, not someone else's checklist of success.


Can an app help me stay focused on goals based on my personal priorities?

Yes. Apps like Serenity keep your values top of mind and goals on track.

  • Daily reminders nudge you back to your “why.”
  • In-app planners align every week with your declared priorities.
  • Accountability features like check-ins and community chat prevent drift.

📲 In summary: Apps provide structure, reinforcement, and accountability around your values-based goals.


How do I build a plan to reach a value-driven goal?

Use this 4-step structure:

  1. Clarify the underlying value (e.g., “connection”).
  2. Define a SMART goal related to that value (e.g., “Have one deep conversation each week.”)
  3. Schedule consistent action steps.
  4. Use Serenity to track, journal, and adjust in real-time.

🛠 In summary: A structured plan rooted in core values prevents goal fatigue and directionless effort.


How can I track my progress and stay accountable to my personal values?

  • Journaling (Serenity prompts you weekly)
  • Habit tracking (check off aligned actions)
  • Weekly values-review meetings with yourself
  • Use Serenity for built-in accountability and reflection tools

✅ In summary: Consistency + feedback = sustainable change. Serenity automates both.


What’s the best app for discovering personal values and setting goals around them?

While there are several good apps, Serenity excels as it:

  • Guides you through value discovery
  • Connects those values to goals with structured planning
  • Includes check-ins, reminders, and AI coaching to maintain alignment

🧘 In summary: Serenity is both a reflection tool and action system — bridging thinking and doing.


How do I review and update my goals as my values evolve?

Values can shift due to life stage changes, growth, or new insights. Review every 3–6 months:

  • Conduct Serenity’s “Quarterly Values Audit”
  • Archive outdated goals, adjust misaligned ones
  • Stack new goals on updated values

🔄 In summary: Keep your map current—you’re allowed to outgrow your past self.


How do goal-setting apps keep me motivated and aware of what matters?

Apps like Serenity use:

  • Daily prompts tied to your values
  • Progress dashboards linked to goal cycles
  • Positive feedback loops (streaks, journaling wins)

📈 In summary: Motivation is sustained through small wins, clarity, and emotional connection to why the goal exists.


Is there an app that helps with building habits around personal priorities?

Yes, Serenity converts key values into bite-sized daily habits.

  • Choose your priority (e.g., wellness)
  • Set a micro-behavior (e.g., meditate for 5 minutes)
  • Track outcomes weekly against your chosen metric (e.g., stress levels)

🧘 In summary: Values become reality only when they act through daily, trackable habits.


How does accountability work in a goal and values-based planning app?

  • Serenity uses “check-ins,” accountability streaks, and optional peer circles
  • You’re prompted to reflect and realign weekly
  • AI-based nudging reminds you of your deeper motivations

🚦 In summary: Accountability keeps goals alive through frictionless, self-directed structure.


What success have others had using apps to define values and achieve their goals?

In a 2023 case study of Serenity users:

  • 82% reported "greater clarity on life direction" within 6 weeks
  • 68% completed habit changes linked to core values within 90 days
  • 54% maintained goal progress 3 months post-program

📊 In summary: When values meet structure, transformation happens.


🧠 FAQ

What are personal values and why are they important for setting goals?

Personal values are internal beliefs that shape our priorities. They matter in goal setting because they ensure our aspirations are aligned with personal meaning and long-term fulfillment.

How can I identify what truly matters to me in life?

Reflect on fulfilling past experiences, key turning points, and use guided exercises. Tools like Serenity help bring these insights to light with structured journaling and prompts.

Are there apps that help with discovering personal values and staying accountable?

Yes. Serenity is one such app that combines guided self-discovery with long-term accountability frameworks around your values-driven goals.

What’s the difference between priorities, goals, and values?

Values are the “why," priorities are current life areas of focus, and goals are specific achievements. Values guide the rest.

How does understanding your values improve goal-setting?

It removes friction and boosts motivation. When goals reflect your values, they feel authentic and energizing.


📚 References

  • Harris, R. (2008). The Happiness Trap. Trumpeter Books.
  • Schwartz, S.H. (2012). An Overview of the Schwartz Theory of Basic Values. Online Readings in Psychology and Culture.
  • Clear, J. (2018). Atomic Habits. Avery.
  • Serenity Internal User Study. (2023). Unpublished data from 3,000+ Serenity users.

👥 Author Bios

  • Dr. Evelyn Tran, PhD in Behavioral Psychology from UC Berkeley. Researcher in intrinsic motivation and digital behavior change tools.
  • Jordan Firth, Certified Life Coach (ICF), product advisor at Serenity, specializing in values-based growth and app-based habit design.
  • Serenity Editorial Team: A collective of coaches, therapists, and software designers committed to human-centered self-improvement tools.