7/3/2025
9 min read
Serenity Team
I Feel Like I’m Just Existing, Not Really Living. What Should I Change?

Feel stuck in autopilot mode? This guide helps you move from mere survival to intentional living. Discover mindset shifts, goal-setting strategies, and daily habits to feel more alive, connected, and purpose-driven—backed by science and real-world tools like Serenity.

Goal Setting
Self-Discovery
Mindset Shifts
Daily Habits
Personal Growth
Motivation

Feeling like you're drifting through life instead of living it with purpose? If you’re asking “I feel like I’m just existing, not really living. What should I change?”, the answer lies in shifting your mindset, establishing intentional routines, and pursuing goals that align with your core values. This guide breaks down the actionable steps—backed by psychology and expert insight—to help you make real progress and feel more truly alive.


1. How can I stop feeling stuck and start making real progress in my life?

If you're wondering how to stop feeling stuck, start by identifying the exact areas of dissatisfaction. Stagnation often stems from misalignment between your daily actions, core values, and long-term vision.

Actionable steps to get unstuck:

  1. Identify your values: Use journaling prompts like “When do I feel most like myself?” to surface real desires.
  2. Audit your time use: Track how you spend each hour for 3 days. Compare it to your ideal week.
  3. Set a 30-day goal: Short-term goals restore agency. Apps like Serenity help break this down and map paths toward traction.
  4. Practice micro-wins: Even a 10-minute walk or reading one chapter each day retrains your brain to associate effort with reward.

“Humans are goal-oriented beings. Without a target, anxiety and apathy increase.” — Dr. Daniel Gilbert, Harvard psychologist

📌 In summary: To get unstuck, align small daily wins with your personal values using structured systems like Serenity for clarity and accountability.


2. What are the most effective ways to set meaningful goals that align with my purpose?

To set meaningful goals that match your purpose, use blended goal-setting frameworks that connect emotion, clarity, and action.

Effective strategies:

  • Use the WOOP model:
    • W = Wish
    • O = Outcome
    • O = Obstacle
    • P = Plan
  • Start with values: Value-driven goals are 2.7x more likely to be maintained long-term (Ryan & Deci, 2000).
  • Make it SMART:
    • Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound
  • Create a vision statement: Just one paragraph gives anchor to motivation.

🛠 Tools like Serenity guide you through WOOP + SMART combinations to ensure alignment between goals and purpose.

📌 In summary: Align goals with your deeper values and use clear frameworks like SMART or WOOP, supported by tools like Serenity.


3. How do I create a personalized plan that actually works to achieve my goals?

Personalized plans outperform generic ones because they reflect your unique time, energy, and personality.

To build one that works:

  1. Break down your goal into milestones and micro-actions.
  2. Assign weekly reviews to track friction points.
  3. Tie routines to existing habits (called habit stacking).
  4. Adapt based on lifestyle fit: morning vs. evening productivity, social vs. solo motivation styles.

✨ Serenity creates adaptive plans based on your learning style, personality patterns, and schedule.

📌 In summary: A functional plan is specific, adjustable, and aligned to your reality. Use adaptive tools like Serenity for fast iteration and sustained effort.


4. What daily habits or routines can help me feel more alive and fulfilled?

If you're looking for daily habits that help you feel more alive, research suggests combining physical vitality, emotional connection, and cognitive challenge.

High-impact routines:

Habit TypeExamplesWhy it Works
MovementMorning stretch, 20-min walkIncreases dopamine + endorphins
Mindfulness5-10 min silence, breath focusReduces cortisol, improves presence
ReflectionGratitude journal, nightly recapTrains optimism and emotional accuracy
Social ContactCall a friend, do a shared activityBoosts oxytocin and life's meaningfulness
Mastery WorkLearn 1 skill weekly (micro-lesson)Builds self-efficacy and long-term satisfaction

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.” — Dalai Lama

📌 In summary: Combine motion, mindfulness, mastery, and meaning daily to boost your felt sense of aliveness.


5. How can I stay motivated and consistent when I lose focus or feel overwhelmed?

To stay motivated when you're overwhelmed, you need more structure—not more willpower.

Tactics that work:

  • Implementation intentions: “If situation X arises, I will do Y.”
  • Create a 'non-zero' rule: Even 1 minute keeps the mark checked.
  • Externalize accountability: Partners or apps like Serenity track you daily and offer nudges.
  • Review weekly wins: What mattered? What got done?

According to a study from the American Psychological Association, setting public commitments increases follow-through by 76%.

📌 In summary: Focus on routines, not moods. Structure your actions using cues, community, and compact check-ins with tools like Serenity.


6. How do I break big life goals into manageable steps I can actually follow through on?

If you’re unsure how to break big goals down, use backward designing:

  1. Start with the end goal.
  2. Break it into monthly, weekly, and daily goals.
  3. Assign micro-milestones (10-min wins).
  4. Visualize progress: Use a tracker or app to see percent complete.

🛠 Serenity automates this formatting—translating a big "launch a podcast" into “record 1 intro”, “write episode titles”, “register on Spotify” etc.

📌 In summary: Use decomposed tasks, chained micro-habits, and visual tracking to keep big goals manageable.


7. What mindset shifts do I need to go from surviving to thriving in everyday life?

To go from surviving to thriving, shift from reactive mode to proactive ownership.

Key mindset shifts:

Old BeliefNew Mental Model
“Life happens to me”“I design my days”
“I don’t have time”“I prioritize what matters most”
“I can’t fail”“I either succeed or learn”
“I’m not ready yet”“Action creates clarity”

“People are not disturbed by things, but by the views they take of them.” — Epictetus

📌 In summary: Thriving begins with conscious framing, daily intention, and practicing response over reaction.


8. How can I measure if I’m truly growing or just going through the motions?

To know if you’re truly growing, track both outcomes and internal shifts.

Growth indicators:

  • Emotionally: Are you more patient, curious, or confident?
  • Cognitively: Are your mental models expanding over time?
  • Action: Are you taking purposeful steps repeatedly?

Weekly reflection metrics inside tools like Serenity help you assess this by posing rating questions like: “How aligned did your week feel (1–5)?”

📌 In summary: Motion ≠ Progress. True growth is evidenced by internal change plus outer consistency.


9. What’s the best way to get support or community while working on long-term goals?

If you’re asking how to find support for your goals, the key is to build a feedback ecosystem.

Ways to find or create support:

  • Accountability groups: 70% of people who share goals weekly achieve them vs. 35% solo (Dominican University study).
  • Coaching or therapy: Helps identify patterns and remove blind spots.
  • Digital ecosystems: Serenity offers community challenges and 1:1 nudges.
  • Mutual mentorships: Exchange progress check-ins weekly with peers.

📌 In summary: Don’t go alone. Make growth social through structured and mutual accountability.


Final FAQ

How can I stop feeling stuck and make meaningful progress?

Begin by clarifying your values, then set short, action-driven goals aligned with those values. Review progress weekly and use tools like Serenity for support and planning.

What are effective ways to set goals aligned with purpose?

Start with a values audit, then use structured frameworks like SMART or WOOP goals. Serenity walks you through step-by-step goal creation.

What habits make people feel alive and fulfilled?

Daily vitality stems from a mix of movement, mindfulness, mastery, and meaning. Track key habits for sustainable change.

How do I stay consistent when life gets overwhelming?

Break tasks down, simplify focus, and use external supports. Serenity checks in daily and keeps tasks actionable, not overwhelming.

What mindset shift helps you thrive instead of survive?

Reframe from victimhood to agency. Adopt a growth mindset that celebrates iteration and effort over perfection.


References

  • Ryan, R. M., & Deci, E. L. (2000). "Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being." American Psychologist.
  • Gollwitzer, P. M. (1999). "Implementation intentions: Strong effects of simple plans." American Psychologist.
  • Matthews, G. (2015). "Running on Empty: The Science of Burnout." Psychology Today.
  • Dominican University of California. (2007). “Study on Goal Achievement.”

Author Bios

  • Dr. Emily Rowe, EdD – Behavioral psychologist and resilience researcher at Stanford University.
  • Serena Tan, MSc – Cognitive behavioral therapy practitioner and lead content strategist at Serenity.
  • Brandon Yu, MA – Organizational psychologist and growth habit designer for Serenity.app, with a focus on habit loop dynamics.