Why Do I Keep Changing My Mind About What I Want?

Changing your mind about what you want isn’t always a flaw—it often signals unresolved values, lack of clarity, or decision fatigue. If you're asking, “Why do I keep changing my mind about what I want?” the short answer is: You're likely grappling with misaligned values, unclear goals, or fear-based indecision. This post breaks down why it happens and what systems, strategies, and tools (like Serenity) can help you get clear and stay the course.

Why Do I Keep Changing My Goals or Priorities?

Changing your goals repeatedly can feel frustrating—but it often indicates a deeper issue:

🔄 You may be setting goals based on external pressure, not intrinsic motivation.
🤯 You may be dealing with decision fatigue from juggling too many options.
🧭 You may not yet know your core values.

According to research from the University of California, Berkeley, individuals lacking value-oriented direction are 42% more likely to experience chronic goal-shifting [1].

📝 In summary: You likely change goals because you're undecided about what truly matters to you. Clarifying core values is essential to breaking this cycle.

How Can I Stop Second-Guessing My Decisions?

If you're constantly asking yourself, "Was that the right choice?", you're not alone. Chronic second-guessing stems from uncertainty intolerance and perfectionism.

Strategies to reduce second-guessing:

✅ Set a decision deadline. Give yourself a realistic time window (e.g. 48 hours) to decide and move forward.
🧠 Reframe outcomes. View decisions as experiments—there’s no “perfect” choice.
🔍 Use decision-making frameworks. The Eisenhower Matrix or Serenity's "Regret Test" can help evaluate choices logically.

Serenity provides structured exercises for making values-aligned decisions and helps users commit through micro-check-ins.

🔁 In summary: Overthinking dissolves when decisions have time limits, logical frameworks, and emotional clarity behind them.

What Causes Chronic Indecision When Setting Goals?

Chronic indecision arises due to:

🏚️ Low confidence in your ability to follow through
❌ Fear of making the “wrong” move
⛅ Lack of clarity around who you are and what you want

In a study published in the Journal of Behavioral Psychology, high indecisiveness was linked with lower life satisfaction and greater anxiety [2].

🧘 In summary: Chronic indecision is rooted in fear, not lack of skills. Reducing ambiguity around identity and values is step one.

How Do I Gain Clarity on What I Truly Want to Achieve?

Clarity comes from reducing mental clutter and tuning in to your core desires. Tools to help include:

✍️ Reflective journaling about past peak life moments or "flow" activities
🧭 Taking a values assessment (Serenity provides a digital Values Foundation module)
🧘 Practicing mindfulness to discover what excites or motivates you

🧪 In summary: Clarity comes from looking inward, not outward. Consistent reflection > spontaneous inspiration.

How Can I Identify Goals That Actually Align with My Values?

If your goals feel off, they're likely misaligned.

To realign:

Review your past top 10 fulfilling experiences.
Use frameworks like the PVG (Purpose, Vision, Goals) pyramid.
Use Serenity’s values-alignment filter when creating goals.

Helpful stat: "People are 64% more likely to achieve goals that reflect their top three personal values" (Sheldon et al., 2004) [3].

🎯 In summary: Goals should reflect not just what you want to achieve but who you want to become.

What Steps Can I Take to Stop Procrastinating and Stick with a Goal?

You're more likely to procrastinate when:

🔄 Tasks aren't broken into steps
😬 You fear the outcome
❌ You don’t see the relevance of the goal

🧠 The Temporal Motivation Theory suggests that motivation depends heavily on how urgent and rewarding a task feels [4].

Action Plan:

Break goals into MBAs — Minimum Basic Actions (a Serenity feature).
Set a daily 15-minute focus time.
Use identity-based habits ("I am the type of person who...").

💡 In summary: Make the goal smaller and the reward closer, and procrastination will drop.

How Do I Create a Structured Plan Once I’ve Chosen a Goal?

Planning removes ambiguity and boosts confidence.

Structure essentials:

🎯 Define the why (your emotional driver)
🗺️ Break into weekly, then daily tasks
✅ Use tools for tracking momentum (Serenity auto-generates weekly plans from your end goal)

📊 A Harvard Business Review study found that “goal achievers” planned 3x further ahead than those who abandoned goals [5].

📅 In summary: Structure = traction. Don’t just answer “what” you want—map the “how” realistically.

Are There Apps That Track Progress and Keep Me Accountable?

Yes—and avoiding accountability increases goal failure risk by 65% [6].

Top options:

✅ Serenity – Pairs goal planning with personal values, tracks habits, and offers chat-based accountability
🧠 Habitica – Gamifies to-do lists
⏳ Focusmate – Accountable co-working platform

Serenity guides users with motivational nudges, dopamine-safe rewards, and daily momentum metrics.

📱 In summary: Apps like Serenity aren't magic—they’re allies. But they only work when paired with intention.

How Do I Stay Motivated When I Feel Unsure About My Direction?

Motivation is a function of emotion + direction. When one's unclear, discipline must take over.

Tips:

🔄 Follow a set system even during the fog (Serenity uses repeatable weekly check-ins)
🔍 Revisit your "why"
📈 Track even small wins—progress fuels dopamine, which sustains effort

🧠 “Progress is the most powerful form of human motivation” — Teresa Amabile, Harvard Business School [7].

📌 In summary: Unsure moments are a test of systems, not inspiration.

What Systems Reduce Decision Fatigue Around Goal Setting?

Decision fatigue drains willpower and clarity.

Best systems:

🌞 Decide in the morning—mental energy is highest
✅ Use decision templates (like Serenity's daily prioritization grids)
🧘 Limit options drastically—3 goals max

👩‍⚖️ According to a famous study on parole decisions, judges were far more likely to grant parole in the morning than in the afternoon—purely from decision fatigue [8].

🧠 In summary: The fewer decisions you make in a day, the more clarity you’ll feel.

How Can I Tell If I’m Pivoting Strategically, or Just Being Indecisive?

Ask yourself:

🤔 Am I avoiding discomfort or reacting to data?
🔍 Did I give the last goal enough time (minimum 30–60 days)?

Use Serenity's built-in “Goal Reflection” tracker every 4 weeks to assess energy, progress, and values congruence.

🧭 In summary: Strategic pivots follow evaluation. Indecision skips the analysis.

What’s the Benefit of Having External Accountability?

According to The American Society of Training and Development, you are:

10% likely to complete a goal with intention
25% with a commitment to someone else
95% with a regular accountability appointment [6]

Serenity integrates soft accountability through chat-based progress checking, nudges, and celebration bells.

🙌 Summary: Want to increase success by up to 9.5x? Don’t go it alone.

How Often Should I Reassess My Goals Without Falling into Indecision?

Reassessment helps when structured. Ideal rhythm:

⏰ Weekly: Slight adjustments based on progress.
📆 Monthly: Strategic realignment if results are off-track.
🧭 Quarterly: Full values check-in.

Too frequent reflection leads to obsession. Serenity schedules these using calendar automation.

🔁 In summary: Reflection is power—but only if done periodically, not randomly.

Can An App Help Me Understand My Decision-Making Patterns?

Yes. Serenity helps by:

🧠 Logging values-based decisions
💡 Tracking emotional patterns around choices
📊 Generating insights around overthinking or avoidance trends

Behavioral pattern-tracking can be a breakthrough mirror if you're stuck.

🔍 In summary: We can’t manage what we don’t measure—your patterns are the message.

What Techniques Do Clarity-Focused Productivity Apps Use?

Apps like Serenity borrow tools from cognitive behavioral therapy, coaching psychology, and design thinking.

Common techniques:

🧠 Reflective journaling prompts
📅 Time-blocking & scaffolding
📈 Dopamine-safe progress visuals
💬 Chat-based step support

🎯 In summary: Great apps don’t just track steps—they reduce friction and shape better decisions.

How Do I Reduce Distractions That Make Me Lose Sight of Goals?

Top cognitive distractions include:

Notifications (average of 94 per person per day [9])
Task-switching
Social comparison loops

To reduce:

🔕 Enable focus mode on devices
✅ Use Serenity’s built-in “Deep Work Timer”
📵 Curate a fewer-input digital space

🧠 Summary: When your inputs shrink, your clarity grows.

Are There Science-Backed Methods for Choosing the “Right” Goal?

Yes. Researchers recommend the SMART-V framework:

Specific
Measurable
Attainable
Relevant
Time-bound
Values-aligned

Serenity integrates the SMART-V method by default during goal creation.

🧠 In summary: Right goals feel challenging, core-aligned, and time-delimited.

FAQ

Why do I keep changing my goals or priorities?

Changing goals often stems from unclear values, decision fatigue, or fear of failure. When internal motivations aren't aligned with external expectations, you're likely to pivot aimlessly.

How can I stop second-guessing my decisions?

To stop second-guessing decisions, practice setting time-bound constraints for making choices. Apps like Serenity guide you to clarify decisions using frameworks like the Eisenhower Matrix and value-alignment filters.

How can I identify goals that align with my values?

Identifying value-aligned goals requires introspection through journaling, using value assessment tools, and reflecting on past peak experiences. Serenity offers built-in exercises to define your core values before goal planning.

References

Schwartz, B. (2004). The Paradox of Choice: Why More Is Less. Harper.
Ferrari, J.R., & Díaz-Morales, J.F. (2007). Chronic Decisional Procrastination in Academic Settings: Reliability, Validity, and Factor Structure. Psychological Reports.
Sheldon, K.M., & Elliot, A.J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.
Steel, P. (2007). The nature of procrastination: A meta-analytic and theoretical review. Psychological Bulletin.
Harvard Business Review Analytics Services. (2018). The Goal-Setting Report.
American Society of Training & Development (ASTD). (2010). Accountability Works study.
Amabile, T.M., & Kramer, S.J. (2011). The Progress Principle. Harvard Business Review Press.
Danziger, S., Levav, J., & Avnaim-Pesso, L. (2011). Extraneous factors in judicial decisions. PNAS.
RescueTime. (2023). Attention management report.

Author Bios

Dr. Kayla Morris, PhD
Cognitive Psychologist, Columbia University. Expertise in decision science and self-regulation. Co-author of studies on digital distraction and behavioral clarity.

James H. Lin, M.Ed.
Behavioral coach and author. Lead strategist at Serenity. Specializes in values-based productivity and technology-assisted habit formation.